"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Lao Tzu
Couples counselling can be a daunting prospect, so well done getting as far as looking at this page. You may well be anxious about talking about your issues in front of your partner as well as hearing your partner's complaints. I would like to reassure you that while initially it can be anxiety-provoking to see a counsellor, many couples find that it can in fact be a relief to take the first steps and actually feel heard by each other and hear each other within the safe space provided by a counsellor.
Why Seek Couples Counselling?
Whether your relationship is in crisis or just needs an MOT, couples counselling can provide a non-judgemental environment where you can begin to address your specific needs for your relationship and learn ways to communicate better with each other. I can help you to address your issues and I will endeavour to provide you with the tools to create a healthy, loving, communicative relationship.
Don’t Feel Ashamed to Seek Help
There is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Every relationship is unique and all relationships need to be worked at in order to be successful. Your relationship consists of two individuals, each of you bringing your history, your past relationships, your family backgrounds, the ups and downs of your current lives and your hopes for the future. So it's no wonder that things get difficult between you.
When things aren't going well we often blame our partner or ourselves - or both. We can feel hurt, angry and scared. When that happens, we sometimes feel too ashamed to seek help. But in fact, the presence of an impartial and non-judgemental counsellor can help you to explore what is happening between you and help you to create a stronger relationship.
How to Tell if Couples Counselling Could Help You:
Do you feel your relationship is falling apart? Are you experiencing a crisis such as infidelity? Are you arguing all the time? Or are you simply at a loss to know why you can’t get on anymore?
Often, couples seek counselling because issues in the relationship have come to a head and they are struggling to find a way forward. But your relationship does not necessarily have to be in crisis for you to seek couples counselling. You may simply feel that something isn’t quite right between you and that you’re having difficulty talking things through together. Couples counselling can offer you a safe space to talk through your problems as well as providing tools for you to communicate more effectively with each other.
If you have any concerns at all about your relationship and/or the difficulties that you are having communicating with each other then you are welcome to call me in confidence to discuss whether relationship counselling might be an option for you.
Some of the Reasons Why Couples Seek Counselling:
Anger and frustration
Difficulties with intimacy
Ambivalence or anxieties around starting a family
Work or financial stresses
Life crisis or trauma
Separation and divorce
Couples Counselling Can Help Your Separation or Divorce
Couples counselling be useful for couples who are separating or divorcing. If you wish to improve your communication, perhaps for the sake or your children or for other reasons, then it may be an option for you. It is not the same as Mediation which can help you to settle disputes over contact and living arrangements, child maintenance, property, money and so on. However, it can pave the way to a smoother separation by helping you to let go of the resentment, hurt and anger you may feel towards each other.
How Do We Work Together?
The initial assessment is 90 minutes in duration in order to give you sufficient time to talk to me about your problems and to enable me to have time to assess how I can best help you with your relationship. If we agree that ongoing counselling is appropriate to your situation we will agree a regular time to meet.
How we continue to work together and the number of sessions will be discussed as part of the initial assessment, taking into account my professional judgement as well as what is manageable for you. Generally, sessions are either 60 minutes, 75 minutes or 90 minutes and are usually held weekly. In some exceptional circumstances we may agree to fortnightly sessions but this will usually depend on evidence of your commitment to working on your relationship between sessions.
In the sessions we will explore what you want from your relationship and your vision for the future. Together, we will address the source of the problems in your relationship as well as looking at ways and techniques to improve your communication. If appropriate, I may also ask you to complete 'homework' between sessions to help the process.
What Does it Cost?
60 minute sessions: £100 per session
75 minute sessions: £125 per session
90 minute sessions: £150 per session
120 minute sessions: £200 per session
Initial assessment of 90 minutes - £150
The Next Step
You can contact me by phone or email (both are at the top of the page) to arrange an initial session so that we can consider whether relationship counselling is the best option for you. You are welcome to come to see me individually or as a couple to talk to me about your situation. Like our sessions, all calls and emails are confidential.